


something broken about this (but i might be hoping about this)

by missakwatson



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Meditation, Nothing to see here, Pre-Femslash, Pre-Slash, Star Wars: The Old Republic - Knights of the Fallen Empire, just my favorite Sith Lord mooning over a frustratingly hot Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missakwatson/pseuds/missakwatson
Summary: Lana hesitated. Surely, whatever she could do to aid the Jedi’s healing, she should offer. “Have you meditated recently?”Rhyantei’s shoulders slumped. “No. I’ve been…” she paused, allowing herself an unsteady sigh. “I’m afraid, Lana.”Lana couldn’t help the way her eyebrows rose at the Jedi’s raw honesty. “Afraid? Of what?”***This is my first published SWTOR fic—just a little snippet of the Outlander and Lana sharing a moment near the mid/beginning of KOTFE.
Relationships: Lana Beniko/Female Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	something broken about this (but i might be hoping about this)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if there's still an audience for fic about a semi-original character from a game that came out *checks watch* five years ago, but hey, who knows! The alternate title of this is something like "all i drink is water and respect lana beniko juice," but that felt a little on the nose, so I went with a Hozier lyric instead.

“You seen our Jedi friend recently?” 

As Koth turned to address Lana, pulling her from her thoughts, she realized that no, she hadn’t seen Rhyantei in a few hours. 

“She’s probably resting,” Lana replied, standing even as she attempted to brush off the inexplicable concern that now tingled at the base of her neck. “But perhaps I should check on her.”

Koth shrugged and turned back to the command console. “I’ll holler if I need you.”

“Very well.”

Lana wasn’t entirely sure where she was going—Rhyantei likely _was_ resting, rightfully so, and her temporary absence really wasn’t any concern of Lana’s. But while the Jedi fought admirably earlier in the evening, Lana had distinctly felt her companion’s strength flagging near the end. Best to make sure nothing was amiss, if only to put her own nerves at ease.

As she stepped off the bridge, Lana cautiously sent tendrils of awareness through the ship’s winding passages. _There._ Lana found her in the vessel’s main rotunda. _I’ll just… see if she needs anything._

When Lana reached the ship’s central chambers, she paused and frowned as she scanned the empty lounges. She was sure she had just sensed the Jedi, right about here, but where was—

“Over here,” a voice chimed in from the far corner of the room. _Oh._ Rhyantei was seated on the floor, knees drawn up to her chest. Lana strode across the chamber, immediately dropping into a crouch to meet Rhyantei’s eyes.

“I felt you looking for me.” The Jedi waved a hand and attempted a laugh. “I’m fine. I won’t give out on you, I promise. It’s just taking some time to catch back up to my body, especially now that we’ve slowed down.”

Lana nodded and moved to sit carefully with her back against the wall, deciding not to question the unorthodox choice of seating area. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you more time to rest. The process would have killed a regular person, maybe even a regular Jedi, without a doubt. The speed at which you returned to form was... stunning.” 

Rhyantei huffed. “It hardly felt stunning. But you... I felt you. Sustaining me. Thank you.”

Lana peered at the Jedi. When they fought side by side all those years ago, she had sensed the conflict Rhyantei felt when letting Lana’s force bolster her own, a discomfort the Jedi had always elected to sidestep in conversation. 

Now, there was no conflict—only relief. Perhaps it was a function of desperation, drawn out by the immediate need for survival. But to Lana, it felt more like acceptance. 

“Of course. It’s... really something to see, you know. I don’t think you realize it while it’s happening, but you’re a tremendous fighter.” Lana felt her face heat. When did she get so comfortable handing out compliments to beautiful, damnably stubborn Jedi?

Rhyantei glanced at Lana, as if weighing a flippant response, but none came. “Thank you.”

After a moment of silence stretched between them, Lana sensed a pang of discomfort from her companion, almost as acutely as if she had felt it herself. _Stop mooning, Lana. She’s hardly had time to recover._ An unsteady, frustrated breath escaped Rhyantei’s nostrils, but she seemed unwilling to admit what pained her. 

Lana hesitated. Surely, whatever she could do to aid the Jedi’s healing, she should offer. “Have you meditated recently?”

Rhyantei’s shoulders slumped. “No. I’ve been…” She paused, allowing herself an unsteady sigh. “I’m afraid, Lana.”

Lana couldn’t help the way her eyebrows rose at the Jedi’s raw honesty. “Afraid? Of what?”

“The last time I fully retreated into my own mind, it was because the Emperor invaded my thoughts to force my body to delay the carbonite poisoning which had been slowly killing my body for half a decade.”

Her tone was wry, but Lana didn’t need the force to feel the fear and frustration under her words. “I—I did give this some thought earlier,” she admitted. “If you’d like, perhaps I could help you.”

Now it was Rhyantei’s turn to express surprise. “Help me?”

“I understand if you’d rather not allow anyone else’s presence into your mind. But if you permitted me to occupy your meditative state, I could act as a... sentinel, of sorts. I focus on eliminating distractions and guarding against any attacks, and you focus on healing. 

“Or,” she couldn’t help but add, “the high-minded nature of peace and justice. Whatever it is Jedi meditate on.”

Rhyantei snorted. “Something tells me you know even more about Jedi meditative practices than I do. But... yes. I think that would help. I’m willing to try.”

Lana nodded. She carefully shifted to face her companion—though completely unnecessary, it somehow felt right. _Completing the circuit._

She closed her eyes and concentrated on reaching out her awareness to the Jedi seated before her. “You know what my presence feels like, Master Jedi. Feel it holding you.” As her mind descended into a state of deeper contemplation, the words became purely thoughts once more. “ _Warding you, Jedi. Not dampening.”_

Rhyantei’s defenses were shockingly minimal. Pragmatically, Lana knew it was likely a function of her exhaustion and depleted physical stamina. Privately, however... it felt like trust, a trust that was scandalously yielding. She slipped in with ease, her consciousness settling in deeper to envelop this presence she’d brushed against so many times. 

In her mind’s eye, she saw Rhyantei’s meditative apparition kneeling before her in perfect stillness, face painted with a noble concentration Lana couldn’t help but find a little... well, adorable. 

_"Good, Rhyantei. You are safe here."_

They continued like this for several minutes—Rhyantei settling back into her own mind, Lana letting herself wash over the rough edges. The trance was so unlike her own meditation—so placid, so filled with _light—_ but it didn’t feel wrong, either. Just different means to mirrored ends, two faces of the same spinning coin. 

As Rhyantei relaxed deeper into her meditation, Lana forced herself to remain vigilant, like she had promised. It was tempting to pry, and Lana wasn’t in the habit of denying herself many temptations, but this was a line of trust she couldn’t bring herself to cross. Instead, she stuck to the edges of Rhyantei’s consciousness, monitoring the stability of her emotions but refusing to examine them any further. 

She wasn’t sure what she was really expecting—it had worked, but for how long? The more time ebbed around them, however, Lana was surprised at just _how_ well her plan was working. _Full of surprises, this one. Meeting my expectations and then some._

Eventually, she felt a gentle tug at the center of her awareness. Rhyantei had remained quiet the entire time, at least to Lana, but now it seemed she was ready to speak. 

_“I’ve accomplished all I can for now. Thank you, Lana.”_

As she blinked back into spatial awareness, Lana pointedly ignored the way Rhyantei’s parting thought felt curiously akin to a warm palm brushing over her cheek. Instead, she chose to focus on the Jedi’s newfound smile. 

“That worked perfectly, Lana.”

And it had—Lana practically felt the serenity rolling off Rhyantei in waves. Deeper than that, though, she felt nearly all of the restored vitality that was plainly depleted after Rhyantei’s first brush with Valkorion. 

Lana tried to school her expression into her usual mask of cool consideration, but she couldn’t help the flare of pride she felt at helping her friend. _Selflessness. How dreadfully... Jedi._ But now wasn’t the time to share that aloud, she supposed. 

“I’m glad, truly. I— I know this is trivial, perhaps, all things considered. But I was never satisfied with how I left things on Ziost. The truth is, well—you do have a way of flustering me with your heroics, and I was frustrated with you and Theron for making a decision that I thought could put us at risk.”

Rhyantei arched an eyebrow. “Flustered, huh?”

Lana ducked her head. “I was very angry, and I responded in anger. But as—“ she hesitated. “—As your friend, I apologize.”

Rhyantei rested a gentle hand on Lana’s knee. _Stars._

“Apology accepted. I’d promise to stay out of any more trouble, but I’d rather not ruin our... friendship with promises I don’t intend to keep.”

Lana couldn’t suppress the laugh that escaped her. “No, I don’t suppose you would. But I appreciate your candor, as always.”

Rhyantei smirked. Lana’s breath caught as their eyes met again. Was she imagining it, or did she sway forward, just a hair, and was Rhyantei—

“Master Lana!” The metallic tenor of HK’s greeting shattered the moment with truly remarkable aplomb. “Master Koth would like me to inform you that dinner is ready. Quote: ‘I will not hear any complaints about the quality and if she has a smartass opinion she can shove it up her—‘“

“Enough.” Lana restrained herself from reaching out a hand and tossing the droid across the room, but just barely. Revealing her temper right now might be a bit unseemly. 

Rhyantei chuckled as she stood up in a fluid motion. “Thanks, HK.” 

As the droid tottered back to whatever infernal crevice of the ship he’d spawned from, Lana realized a hand was waiting above her. She sighed and took it, trying not to notice the warm pressure of Rhyantei’s firm grip. 

“C’mon, Beniko. Being in my head for so long has actually given me an appetite.”

Lana couldn’t help but smile back at her companion. “By all means, lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! <3 It was a bit of practice for me, as I have a hard time making myself write uninterrupted scenes. (Idk if that makes sense, but #iykyk.) Sorry for any formatting funkiness—y'all know how AO3 is, and I love a good italicized internal monologue.


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